Am I ready?

There are many things that I am scared to do wrong when I grow up. Am I going to marry the right girl so i don't get a divorce? Am i going to pay all the bills so i have a good credit score? Am i going to raise my children right? Am i even going to go to collage? What job am i even going to get? Am i going to have fun? Is what i have done for the past 15 years worth anything? These are all questions you have read me ask in the past two blogs.

I am currently trying to get a job. I will get minimal wage and i wont get very many hours because of my age. hopefully, ill be able to save up for a car. These are what i like to call plans. These are my steps to having a nicer, smother life. How do i get money? I get a job. How can i be free to do what i please? I get a car. These are the small things that end up amounting them selves somewhere down the future. I'm sure of it. But, in what i just said, you can see the uncertainty. There are so many unknowns in the future i described to you. Now that is the exciting part. For better or for worse, the life i am blindly sprinting into is thrilling because of that i don't know, and I'm sure ill be able to rely on my wits (and my parents) to get me out of any extremely sticky situation.

I'm not saying I'm particularly happy about growing up. But if we had it our way, we would never proceed in life. Never advance and never grow. I want to grow. I want to eventually be sure in the things i do. Be confidant.

The last post was purely about me not having the ability to have fun when i grew older. Because it seems as if all the fun has been stripped away from me in the past years? After some hard thought, i decided; no. The fun hasn't been stripping away, its been changing. That is why it is impossible for me to see the fun in my future is because it changes into a thing i cant recognize yet.

Through everything i just said, may have got you thinking. 'Wow this kids got it together' well no. I am just an optimistic child with some sort of talent to write. I know how to formulate my thoughts into words and my thoughts are particularly interesting. That's all. I will still fall in the future and i will still need to be led by the hand, but in all of that i will move forward in life. I am so ready to move forward, whether i feel like it or not.

To the faithful reader,
Nicholas Zint