When your little you never think your going to grow up being poor and miserable. At least i never did. I'm not sure what i was really expecting, but i knew life was always going to be better when your older. But now, at the ripe age of 15, I can look back and not recognize the kid i used to be and think, 'Damn, life is not going to be as easy as i thought.'
I think one of the main reasons why children think that there lives specifically are going to be so amazing when they grow up is because there so blind to everything. We (adults) raise our children to be that way. I know when i have a child that I'm not going to introduce them to the birds and the bees until he/she is at leased 10. so until my future child is at least 10, they are going to be blind to that trouble, to that factor that's going to try to step in there way to having an easy life. Nor do most children know money to the full degree. Non of them, hopefully non of yours, have to work a full time job and pay taxes and have bills every month. they grow up asking for a quarter so they can get candy and they get the candy. simple as that. I'm not trying to bash parents saying that there spoiling there children or anything, i believe that this unknowings is important because they haven't developed into a stage to handle those things yet.
I have a gift in being able to point out random crap. It has always been one of my greatest talents, and i grew up living off that talent. people liked being around me because they would start to notice things they didn't before because i was observant and i had a loud mouth. It wasn't till a couple weeks ago that i realized that it wouldn't get me very far in life. No, now i have images of me growing up to be a pot belly man, living in a cubicle pointing out something about the view. the people in the other cubicles would notice what i pointed out and agree, and that was the extent of my talent. that image right there is freaky as hell to me. Is my whole childhood cooked up to be some random talent? what was the point of the past 15 years of my life if i have nothing that's telling me i can be successful. Every adult around me will tell me that I'm pretty good at math, I'm imaginative, i have a good ability to sit down and do nothing for a long time and i have a fast digestive system so it will be a long time until i get fat, but all that leads me to is a cubicle office working for blizzard.
When i was 7, this is what i would say "I want to be a fireman, ice cream truck driver, a pastor"why did i tell myself that? Its because Firemen were heroic and people looked up to them, I liked ice cream men because my parents always bought me ice cream from them, and everyone always had questions for the pastor, i loved questions. But now, another life later, i wouldn't be able to tell you what i wanted to be when i grow up. I wanna be rich, maybe a bit famous and live in a big house and sexy cars and an even sexier wife. but i couldn't tell you how i would get there. i currently wouldn't tell you that i thought that i was going to be a pot belly man who played World of Warcraft as a day job.
It seams as if everyone around me is saying they know what there going to be and they know how happy there going to be doing it. It seams as if I'm the only one stuttering at the words "whatcha going to be when you grow up" It seams as if I'm the only one scared S***less about becoming an adult. Or is it that I'm the only one who has the talent to notice random things and actually give serious thought about those things and has finally come to realize that this is not the world i grew up in as a child. That this world of 'adults' isn't about kicking back and living large, that its about bills and taxes and drama and diseases and cancer and racism. Life is not what it was cooked up to be when i was little and man, growing up stinks.
To the faithfull reader,
Nicholas Zint
